Masturbate - outlaw

Woke up, it’s a blue balls day

Think I’m gonna need somethin' for the pain

Staring at the poster on my wall

That’s my cousin I’mma give her a call

Check my tender and OkCupid

Kept swipin' right then I felt really stupid

I found my mom up on this app

Swipe left, swipe right

Or should I fap?

I’m just out here, thinking I’m screwed

Girls don’t like me 'less I give 'em the booze

I try so hard, «really what’s the use?»

Farmersonly.com will have to do

Why, oh, why won’t you just date me?

When I all I want is respect

But she won’t give up the sex

Why, oh, why do girls hate me?

I just wanna pop my cherry

But not with her she’s hairy

I am so frickin' hard

No one to screw today

I guess I’ll lay around and masturbate (masturbate)

I am so frickin' hard

No one to screw today

I guess I’ll lay around and masturbate (masturbate)

Can’t wait to do it, and tell my friends

Why is intercourse so hard to comprehend?

All this stress gonna make me a stoner

Watch Judge Judy then I got me a boner

Man I really wanna plant my seed

Knot on my stomach I can feel it when I breathe

I’m starting to think my life’s a joke

If you smelled my hand you’d probably choke

Why, oh, why won’t you just sext me?

When all I want is your boobs

Turned off my cloud now send nudes

Why, oh, why when I say pretty please?

You don’t respond and then you block me

And then you call the cops on me

I am so frickin' hard

No one to screw today

I guess I’ll lay around and masturbate (masturbate)

I am so frickin' hard

No one to screw today

I guess I’ll lay around and masturbate (masturbate)

Message from Beth on my cell phone

She said «Come over, but bring a comb»

Yes I’m desperate, I need that beaver

Brought seven combs, i’m an overachiever

Arrived at her house, and I popped them pills

Saw her cooche and got the chills

Taken of my clothes, while I twirl

Fell and her phone went live to the world

Your friends are hard right now

Your parents are hard right now

That hot chick’s hard right now

That cop is hard right now

The cameraman’s hard right now

Your priest is hard right now

Everyone’s hard as fuck right now

I think that means I’m going down!

I am so frickin' hard

She let me screw today

I better turn this off and penetrate (penetrate)

I am so frickin' hard

She let me screw today

I better turn this off and penetrate (penetrate)

-Whisper

I’m gonna penetrate you