I'm a Mineralist - Nick Mason

Here’s a shocking revelation for you voyeurs

Such a heinous deviation, there are no cures

I’m a Mineralist, I’m a Mineralist

Just the thought of ironing gives me spasms of lust

I creep up to old wrecked cars and lick off the rust

I’m a Mineralist, I’m a Mineralist

Mother used to try to metal in my affairs

Keep your nose up off that grindstone, people

Will stare

Get the lead out of your pants and change your

Underwear

I’ve been stealing baby bottles since I was born

I’ll go blind from balling bearings, doctors have

Warned

I like making out with steel-rimmed glasses

More than horned

Erik Satie gets my rocks off, Cage is a dream

Phillip Glass is Mineralist to the extreme

I like tickling ivories and fingering stones

When my mercury goes up I play with my bone

Peole take for granite my perversion is wrong

I’m not harming anyone by beating my gong

I’m a Mineralist, I’m a Mineralist

I’ll make love to minerals as long as I can

And in fifty years I’ll be a jaded old man

I’m a Mineralist, I’m a Mineralist

I’m a Mineralist, I’m a Mineralist