The Ladies Understand - Momus

When I was a little whippersnapper of a boy just 19 years of age

And I happened to stain the sheets on the bed or I happened to misbehave

The stains were lovingly washed away in a tub of soapy water

By the ladies I protected from a world of horrible slaughter

Then when at last I came of age and had to make my way

I set up shop with a dozen girls, so popular was I

I marched them up to the top of the town and there I had them loiter

There are many worse ways to earn your pay

In a world of horrible slaughter

But whenever a piece of ultraviolent thuggery is done

And the world looks on with heart in mouth, speechless and stunned

Remember that every offender is his own mother’s son

Here is the song that I have always sung:

Give me mass in the morning, the booky’s at noon

The brothel all night long

But I’ll always be true to the ladies, the ladies understand

I’m their favourite

They love me, I treat them like shit

One of my girls did a runner one day with a lad from the orchestra

Who scraped a living on a violin and stayed at home with Ma

I ground his instrument into the ground

And Tracy, when I caught her, that time got off lightly

In this world of horrible slaughter

Now I’ve got a little whippersnapper of my own

Just at the difficult age

And if he happens to slash a girl to test

His army penknife blade

The blood is lovingly washed away in a tub of soapy water

By the girls he may protect one day from a world of horrible slaughter

Give me mass in the morning, the booky’s at noon

The brothel all night long

But I’ll always be true to the ladies

I’m their favourite

They love me

I treat them like shit