The Charm Song - Momus

Depending on what you want to get

In life there are many etiquettes

The way to get rich is to stitch people up

The way to get laid is to hang around drunks

But there’s one thing you must tell yourself

One principle that comes before all else

It’s something your grandfather knew

Lack of charm can be fatal to you

I once knew a pig from Brazil

Who was ritually slaughtered then killed

The same thing could easily happen to you and me

If we lack the disarming knack

Of being totally charming

I once knew a backbiting bitch

Who told lies that made my eyes itch

The reason that she’s living still

Is that bitch was too charming to kill

Yes it’s something your grandmother knew (that ho)

Lack of charm can be fatal to you