Congo - MC Chris

Congo-

-KyleXY/KotA/Darth Kyle: Hello!

And welcome to The Rebellion.

This is, uh,

KyleXY.

My new name is, uh Kyle of the Apocalypse We’re uh in a tent tonight.

We’re-

-The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

-Basementsafe/WiR/Greedo1997:

This is uh, I was Greedo 1997, I was also Basemensafe, but uh, I decided to

change- my new name is now McCormick Rd

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

-Jackie the Hut/Resident Stevil… Mr. Chandler: Hi, uhm Jackie the Hut,

aand Roland of Sciliad- my new Car related nickname: The EnGINA Monologues,

may the Force be with you

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

-Jimmy «The Zombie» Stewart/Jimmy …etc.

Stewart: Hey, Jimmy Stewart here.

May the Force be with you

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

Kyle: No, you hafta tellus your new nickname, May the Force be with you

JS: Oh, uhhhh, Jimmy Stewart, uh, The Car

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.

(half-heartedly, begrudgingly, even)

-Hey!

Umm this is IG-89, Then I was, uh, The First Mimzy, then I was,

Sawyer’s Gunstache, and since Lost is over, uh — I changed my name to The

Walking Fred, I’m the Walk- I’m.no?

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.

(hesitantly, then over, reassuringly)

Kyle: It’s good.

It’s good.

It’s good

TWF: Damnit!

No!

It’s not, it sucks!

Sucks!

Kyle and I think JS and TEM possibly DoD: It’s good (several more times

Kyle: it’s good, «Walking Dead"'s a good show its good!

TWD: it’s too easy, it’s too OBvious!

Darth *Ksh~Hcoh*Gracie/ Darth of the Dead/DoD: Hey what’s up guys?

Good to see you all, it’s been a while.

I used to be Darth Dudeicle,

I used to be Doodoocull Gracie.

Uh, I know I haven’t seen am everyone for a

while, I had an unfortunate stretch where I became a Juggalo, now I’m back.

Dooticle of Doom, like the Legion of Doom, from the WWF, also known as The

Road Warriors.

Road Warrior, May the Force be with you

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

Mr. Killian: So, wait, it’s Road Warrior?

Or Duducle of Doom?

DoD: Doodickle of Doom

The EnGINA Monologues: Ok, May the Force be with you

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

DoD: May the Force be with you too.

May the Force be with you too

Mc peepants: Well we’re all really excited about Race Wars, (The Rebellion

start laughing at the ridiculous understatedness of their excitement for Race

Wars… obviously:) we’re first In line May the Force be with you

Kyle: We just wanna, go around the tent and explain uh what your were excited

about uh Race Wars.

May the Force be with you

McCormick Rode: Uh I’m excited, cause I heard there’s gonna be like this really

cool like uh, Sting at the end, tha-alluding to maybe, the later movies-

-1st Mimzy: Hey don’t- No Spoilers, Man!

What are you talkin' about?

No Spoilers, dude!

-The rebellion chimes in aggressively

When in Romero: I don’t even know what’s going on!

Kyle: none of us do!

And we wanna keep it that way!

IG-89: I don’t wanna know anything, that happens!

Basementsafe: But saying there’s a sting is not a spoiler!

Sawyer’s Gunstache: Yes, it IS!

Mc chris: we don’t know if it’s gonna be a strong end or a weak one,

we don’t know these things

-(Pauly Shore?) DoD/Darth of the Dead: now people who weren’t necessarily

dedicated enough to sit through the credits, might do it, cause of you!

-The Walking Fred: Yeah now we gotta share that with somebody, now,

everybody knows

-Kyle: yeah, you can forget about it bein' insider information, man

McCormick Rd.: But, I thought you said, «what are you excited about», and,

I said ,"the Sting, that might be at the en-

Tony K: Stop Talkin' about it!

DoD: I don’t want to talk about this any more

Basement Safe: Wha-Whyareyou- I’m just saying, it’s g-wha why, you weren’t

excited about the sting?

At the end?

Virgil the Poet: I wait through EVERY movie til the end to see if there’s a

sting but I don’t want to know if there is one

McCormick Road: But there’s not a sting at ending-at the end of every movie.

There’s not gonna be a sting at-

TWF: any good one there is.

And that’s how you know, when you leave the theater

if you saw a good movie or a bad movie!

Rocko: There’s no sting at the end of «Bowling For-

Darth of the Dead: Keep talkin!

Keep Talkin!

Kyle of the Apocolypse: just Chill out, May the FORCE be with you

Arguers: May the Force be with you

TEM: Hi, this is the Engina Monologues, May the Force be with you

The Rebellion: May the Force be with you

TEM: I’m really excited because, I heard there’s um actually a number of

graphic rape scenes in the movie

Kyle: where did you here thisMay the Force be with you?

Others: yeah?

Jackie the Hut: I heard it in

The Walking Fred: yeah again, I didn’t want to hear another spoiler!

Kyle: I didn’t know that’s where you got your information…

NO SPOILERS!

I’m sorry!

Im sorry!

I just- every time I hear about a graphic rape.

It helps me think about, my ex-wife being-

Oh goddammit

You don’t have to tell me what it’s like

Etc. May the Force be with you

Resident Stevil (continuing, as if uninterrupted): being ravaged by BaBoons,

I have this fantasy where she’s on safari, in the Congo, and these like,

missing link baboon creatures just, set upon her-

Rocko: Like in the movie «Congo»?

;)

Mr. Chandler: What?!

IG-89: does that happen in the movie «Congo»?!

Kyle: did you spoil «Congo»…Don't Spoil «Congo» for everybody!

DoD: I got it in my Netflix Queue.

When in Romero: keh* You haven’t seen Congo, yet?

Ok, from here it gets murky and overlapping, but-

Kyle: no I haven- hey!

I thought, oh they’re starting to move some people,

they’re movin' some people, I can’t get the zipper open!

I can’t get the

zipper open!

I can’t open the zipperrhh!

Ow, ow ow!

oW OOw… right on my neck!

Stepping right on my neck!

Pretty much everyone else says: the line is moving!

The line is moving!

Open the Tent!

Open the zipper!

Mc chris’s Biological father: the line is trampling us