Hot Dog - Matt Berry

Fix me a hot dog with jelly, Unc

I’ve had craving since withdrawing from

Low grade acid and cocaine bumps

I can’t sleep at night

Or hold a decent job

But given time I can turn this around

Go and stay at my mum’s

Keep my feet on the ground

Next thing I know I’ve got my hand in her purse

Instead of feeling bad

I feel a whole lot worse

Fix me a bagel with dog food on

And don’t forget the muenster

I won’t be long

Get with a guy who can write a song

And who won’t make love

With his trousers on

I go see my gran

She’s making me tea

Telling me stories

Hassling me

I puke on the floor

Not much I can do

I don’t say a word

Just leave, wouldn’t you?

I’m wasting the days

I’m wasting my life

Seeking the quick fix

No kids or a wife

Promising this and

Promising that

The only thing to show is a mess on the mat

Yeah

Once a big shot

I had something on

But I’ve got nothing on

I’ve got nothing on

Keep the wolf

From the door

The door