Nocturne - Mary Chapin Carpenter

It was late in the summer and the house was asleep

Except for you in the attic under the eaves

The windows were open, it was lamplight and stars

Lamplight and stars from above

You could hear a car passing way down the street

A neighbor’s dog barking, and the wind in the trees

And you’re the king of your castle and of all you survey

At the end of this day that was

You thought of your children just down the stairs

Your wife sleeping deeply, the quotidian cares

Some days it’s easy, some days it’s hard

Some days it’s so hard to be loved

You look like your old man when he was your age

Stepping back from the mirror, more surprised than amazed

Same salt at the temples, same faraway eyes

A disguise you recognize now

You wish he’d been around more when you were a kid

You wish he had told you so much more than he did

And all these regrets and they’re still handed down

From father to son somehow

And what doesn’t get lost in the numbing routine

What isn’t a burden or casualty

You’re sworn to protect from indifference and rust

What indifference and rust will allow

It’s not very often but it happens sometimes

You can feel something pulling like the moon pulls the tides

Too strong to outswim and too deep to outlast

The past like a wave on the sea

We’re all trying to live up to some oath to ourselves

Try holding back time but it will not be held

No king has the power, no mortal the skill

But still you keep trying to see

What’s waiting for you at the end of your days

The wars you inherit, the truces you make

The riches you squandered, the love that you earned

And the nocturne you heard in a dream