Mr Humphries - Mark Eitzel

Try and be kind to Mr Humphries in room 5

He gets grumpy trying to keep hope alive

And though the well is dried up

He won’t give or shut up

It’s still hoping

He spent his life on the television

He even had a catch phrase of his own

Made a great entrance on the stage

A free man walking from the cage

Millions loved him

Hoping

His advice to the young

Always leave 'em wanting more

You can’t calm the savage beast

But you can make him less of a bore

The heart it don’t need

Brave words or deeds

It just keeps hoping

Keep it light, keep it bright

You’re the thing they forget

And in the end no one’s a friend

And your fortune becomes a debt

So be kind to Mr Humphries

Though you think his role is small

A smile that breaks the darkness

Never has to beg, never has to crawl

Every breath is a prayer

It don’t cave in or scare

It’s hoping

You won’t find the sun

If the dead light your way

Distract 'em, keep 'em laughing

Cause you’ll never have enough to pay