Morning After Pill-12 - Louis Logic

I awoke unaware in a fog of whiskey

Wrapped inside a coat from the hair of

The dog that bit me

I was lost and dizzy

And still feeling awfully pissy

When I noticed my alarm had missed me

God forgive me or at least my boss

With all this nausea in me I just need time off

In a big way, which sucks

Because much to my dismay

I just used up all my sick days

Oh I wish they made a quicker fix

To deal with the way the liquor sticks

When it hits your lips

Which isn’t a bit as quick

As the wise-cracks, oohs and grunts

Hit the lips of your homies

When you lose your lunch

Or you kiss a chick

Whose size of skirt and intimate undergarments

Indicate that she likes dessert

I’m sick of it

I only wish the guys at Merck

Would find a cure

To keep me sipping fine liqueur

For every time I had to drive to work late

Let 'em line 'em up like every night’s my birthday

The first taste is great

Twice the same

The third makes lightning rain and the earth shakes

Tonight’s a game while tomorrow is harassment

Say goodbye to shame

Sayonara embarrassment

It’s nice to drain a bottle with arrogance

And never think twice again when you wanna

Wallow in merriment

I wish they made a morning after pill

So I wouldn’t have to feel like such an a*shole still

When I swig from every booze on the shelf

Until I’ve had my fill to the gills and make a

Fool of myself

You wouldn’t smell like a liquor distillery

Relief would be as easy and quick as a pill in me

One dash of aspirin, a lick of senility

And you’d slip from the grip of humility

Three cheers for beer and forever

Steering clear of the car crash that

Always seems to come with your bar tab

Cause cognac should come with a hard hat

Just for when your flight nosedives and you

Run into tarmac

You gotta be a sharp tack to stick around

Sitting on a stool sipping stout til your lips are brown

First knock the Guinness out and switch to Murphey’s

Beer gut stuffed like we’re twisted turkeys

It’s a hurt piece to kick your work week

Off by feeling lost with a wish for mercy

Search me while you find a kid that’s thirsty

Who didn’t know his woe was prescription worthy

Kids from Jersey who cross the bridge and New York

Is boozed like abused foster kids

And we all could use a cure for this

So get in line for a better life at your doctor’s offices

For every time I made a scene in public

Let 'em line the bar with Jim Beam and club mix

And never mind the life of pain that

You might sustain should you

Forget to buy your miracle drug fix

Tonight’s a game while tomorrow is harassment

Say goodbye to shame

Sayonara embarrassment

It’s nice to drain a bottle with arrogance

And never ever think twice again when you

Wallow in merriment

I wish they made a morning after pill

So I wouldn’t have to feel like such an asshole still

When I swig from every booze on the shelf

Until I’ve had my fill to the gills and make a

Fool of myself

You never smell like a liquor distillery

Relief would be as easy and quick as a pill in me

One dash of aspirin, a lick of senility

And you’d never have to live with humility

Outro:

I wish they made a morning after pill

So I wouldn’t have to feel like such an asshole still

When I swig from every booze on the shelf

Until I’ve had my fill to the gills and make a

Fool of myself

You wouldn’t smell like a liquor distillery

Relief would be as easy and quick as a pill in me

One dash of aspirin, a lick of senility

And you’d never have to live with humility