Guru - Loudon Wainwright, III

Down in Southern California

There’s a guru that is guruing there

He’s got 250 followers

They’re following him everywhere

He’s got all of the answers to all of the questions

And he promises to make us fee

He’s got all the solutions to all of the problems

That are plaquing our society

All the followers they love to follow their Guru

Everything else is a hoax

They kiss his lotus feet

You know they make up his bed

You know they’re laughing at all of his jokes

He protects his people from the outside world

His people need never be afraid

Cause if you’re his disciple and he happens to like ya

I can tell you, that you’ve got it made

Well if you’re not part of this special

Selective, exclusive, elite family

You’re considered a heathen, and a sap, and a sucker

Devoid of spirituality

They try to sell you some mints

And and some cookies

Or some literature to show you the way

Yeah they’ll prostletizing and it’s mesmorizing

And they’re making moulah everyday