My Old Mans a Dustman - Lonnie Donegan

Now heres a little story,

to tell it is a must

about an unsung hero,

that moves away a dust

Some people make a fortune

others earn a mint

my old man dont earn much

infact, hes flippin skint!

My old mans a dustman

he wears a dustmans hat

he wears cor-blimey trousers

and he lives in a council flat

he looks a propa 'nana in his great big hobnail boots

hes got such a job to pull 'em up that he calls 'em daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas

And some of them forget

so when he picks their bins up he spills some on the step

now one old man got nasty

and too the council wrote

next time my old man went round there

he punched him up the throat!

My old mans a dustman

he wears a dustmans hat

he wears cor-blimey trousers

and he lives in a council flat

I say i say i say Les

Yeah?

I, er, i found a police dog in my dustbin

How’d you know he’s a police dog?

he had a policeman with him!

Though my old mans a dustman

hes got a heart of gold

he got married recently

though hes 86 years old

we said 'here, hang on dad.

youre getting past your prime!'

he said 'when you get my age it helps to pass the time!'

My old mans a dustman

he wears a dustmans hat

he wears cor-blimey trousers

and he lives in a council flat

I say I say I say

eh?

my dusbins full of lilies!

Well throw them away then!

I cant, Lillie’s wearing them!

Now one day whilst in a hurry

he missed a ladies bin

he hadnt gone but a few yards when she chased after him

«What game do you think your playing?!»

She cried straight from the heart

«youve missed me!

am i too late?»

nah jump up on the cart!

My old mans a dustman

he wears a dustmans hat

he wears cor-blimey trousers

and he lives in a council flat

I say… I say… I say…

Not you again!

my dustbin’s absoloutely full of toadstools

How do you know its full?

Cause theres not mushroom inside!

He found a tigers head one day

nailed to a piece of wood

the tiger looked quite miserable

but I suppose he should!

just then from out the window

a voice began to wail… it said

'oy, wheres me tigers 'ead?'

four foot from its tail!

My old mans a dustman

he wears a dustmans hat

he wears cor-blimey trousers

and he lives in a council flat

next time you see a dustman

looking all pale and sad

dont kick him in the dustbin

it might be my old dad!!!