Uncle Alvarez - Liz Phair

There’s a portrait of Uncle Alvarez

Hanging in the hall

Nobody wants to look at it

But Uncle Alvarez sees us all

Ho, ho, ho, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of presidents

Better send a postcard and keep the family quiet

He’s not really part Cherokee Indian

He didn’t fight in the Civil War

He’s just Eugene Isaac Alvarez

We feel sorry for the wall

Ho, ho, ho, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of presidents

You’re gonna make them sorry when you die

And it’s a long way down

You’re hoping for heart attack

Running around

And messing in this and that, and

Your beautiful wife keeps your life on a shelf for you

Safe in the bedroom where there’s no dust or mildew and

It’s hard to believe you were once a beautiful dancer…

Better just to shake it off

As you write your resumé

Don’t think of Uncle Alvarez

And the price he had to pay

Ho, ho, ho, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of presidents

You’re gonna make them sorry when you die

Ho, ho, ho, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of presidents

Better send some money to the Alma Matter