Optimism as Survival -

My family, filled with grief

While I feel nothing but I try to help

Do I even belong here?

Does anyone even care?

Now I’m cleaning out his house

Blood still on the bedroom wall

Does my fear come from the same place as

His cowardice?

I’m too curious to kill myself

Everything passes, even doubt

What I can’t control won’t keep me down

I use optimism as survival

And I miss you (Dawn & Dad)

But I had to get away

Even though I left my best friend

And soon after she passed away

And I felt bad for you, Mother

But I didn’t give a fuck about him

What did he do to you

When you were young?

I can’t help but worry

Is that same blood in me?

I link the future to the past

Is that same blood in me?

These days it seems like there’s no escape

I only come home for tragedy

Like for instance

A death in the family

So heatwave summer for freezing winter

Sometimes beautiful, but mostly bitter

It’s the same everywhere we go

Today will pass while we wait for tomorrow

And I’m here, cleaning out his house

Blood still on the bedroom wall

Why am I thinking about this now?

Searching for answers that won’t be found

Where my grandfather put a gun in his mouth

Where some friends I know are still trying to get out

No matter how far we try to run

We all end up in the same position

I’m too curious to kill myself

Everything passes, even doubt

What I can’t control won’t keep me down

I use optimism as survival