How It Happened - Leslie Odom, Jr., Kathryn Hahn, Dave Herman

Dude, my wax is now hardening in places you can’t imagine.

You owe me.

It really wasn’t that bad.

It was bad.

It was very, very bad.

Okay, now you have to tell us, or I quit.

It was a cold and snowy night in winter

I took her to our favorite place for dinner

It was the perfect setting, didn’t mind the sweating

Coming from your hands

Après vous

He chose a nice champagne to taste

I dropped it

The cork flew up into his face

I popped it

Got quite the shiner

You were fine

Though all the wine went right into your salad/my salad

To this day I’m still ashamed/he's still ashamed

Of how it happened, but it happened

And that’s not all that happened that night

We walked to where we met for reminiscing

His face was green, but still we started kissing

I pulled away to blurt my feelings out

A burp gave way from all the dairy

It happens, honey!

And when I went to kneel, it was unpleasant

A passing dog had left behind a present

Now, looking back, I’m smitten, seeing your commitment

But it all went wrong

Up 'til now, I wonder how/he wonders how

I let it happen/he let it happen, but it happened

And that’s not all that happened that night

Oh, don’t you know, that I fumbled that ring

Watched it disappearing through the grate

Oh, great

The poop on my knee, I flagged the NYPD

And we shivered through a three-hour wait

La-da, da-da-da-da

Ah, here you go.

Thanks.

The ring was handed back and it was drippy

The muck stuck to my hand 'cause it was nippy

And somehow, all the while, I couldn’t help but smile

Because I knew he’d say

Paige, will you marry me?

Yes!

(spoken)

Oh, maybe don’t.

The sewer.

(sung)

To this day I’m sad to say/I'm glad to say that’s how it happened, yes,

it happened

Just like everything after that night

There’s no way I can repay you for what happened 'cause it happened

And it’s history we cannot rewrite

Da-da-da-da

Oh, that’s how it happened

To happen that night