Elvis Porn -

Tiptoed up the stairs

Climbed into the attic

Opened up my grandma’s trunk

Well, isn’t this dramatic?

What could be inside?

I could almost squeal

With delight as I pulled out an ancient dusty reel

There was a label on the side, reading, «E.A.P.»

I wondered to myself, what could this be?

I dashed to my projector with excitement in my eyes

But as the footage rolled it rather took me by surprise

Cause Elvis Porn is what I viewed

There he was, completely in the nude

Strumming his guitar, quivering his lips

Singing in the microphone, shaking his hips

Oh, Elvis Porn, holy guacamole

The big fat buck-naked king of rock and roll

He was devoid of any clothes

With his naughty bits exposed

Oh, what a sight, that Elvis Porn

«What the Hell,» I thought

This is rather odd

I thought of where I found it

And I shouted, «Oh my God!»

Where did Grandma get this

Footage of the King

Why the Hell did sweet old Granny

Have this awful thing?

(Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis!)

So I confronted her with the footage I found

She didn’t seem to recognise it so I wound

The film in the projector, and gave it a spin

She keeled over dead with a big fat grin

Cause Elvis Porn is what she viewed

There he was, completely in the nude

Strumming his guitar, quivering his lips

Singing in the microphone, shaking his hips

Oh, Elvis Porn, holy guacamole

The big fat buck-naked king of rock and roll

He was devoid of any clothes

With his naughty bits exposed

No blue suede shoes

Covering up his little toes

No white jumpsuit

And nobody knows

The tale behind this

Elvis Porn!

(Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! Elvis!)