Bill The Cat - John Williamson

We had a cat

His name was Bill

He caught our budgie on the window sill

One holy day, one Sunday morn

Left only feathers on our back lawn

Oh no Bill, you can’t do that

You silly pussy, you stupid cat

So we took him down, our family pet

And we left his balls with the family vet

Well the very next day he packed his bags

Left all his penthouse and playboy mags

How could we do it to the family vet

Go and leave his balls with the family vet

Well we get no postcards, no telephone calls

He’s out in the bush somewhere, with no balls

And he’s obsessed with sweet revenge

So he eats our parrots and our fairy wrens

Yes he’s mortified and we all regret

That we Left his balls with the family vet

How he’s highly sought by the feral choir

For his new found talent to sing much higher

Has no more time for female friends

Only parrots and fairy wrens

No sense of humor, ex-family pet

He’s still angry, he’s still upset

It still hurts, he can’t forget

That we left his balls with the family vet