What Does a Woman See in a Man - Jimmy Webb

He stinks to high heaven, half covered with hair

And grunts just like some old orang-utan

While she smells of clean skin and a trace of jasmine

And speaks like a first rate librarian

His stomach hangs out, there’s a hump on his back

He eats like Conan the Barbarian

While she keeps herself trim, and her posture is prim

Her manners are quite cosmopolitan

He laughs like a donkey and farts in the bed

And flips cigarettes in the can

But she always acts nice, with no visible vice

Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?

He hangs out in bars and he tells stupid jokes

And seems to think he’s a comedian

But she’s clever, polite, stays sober all night

And sips on her one Presbyterian

He drives a gas hog like Attila the Hun

And woe to the luckless pedestrian

While she prefers bikes and bird-watching hikes

And sailing and riding equestrian

He has a name like Duane or Leroy

Hers is Vanessa or Anne

Hers sounds like a song

But Duane is all wrong

Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?

(BRIDGE)

Doesn’t she know that she’s unique

Doesn’t she know that he’s just a freak -- of nature

Overbearing, insecure, wanting love but so unsure

Loving her because she’s pure

And yet, dreaming of orgies in Vegas or Cannes

He preens and strikes poses Olympian

While she shoulders the cross

And lets him play boss

His nurse and long-suffering Samaritan

He brags about knocking the world on its ass

But oh, when the shit hits the fan

She’ll bail him out, she’s the one with the clout

Only she knows how humankind ever began

What does a woman see in a man?

What does a woman see in a man?