Keep Livin - Jean Grae

I’m feeling numb, thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth

Playin' this game, holding my mic like a pistol: aiming at death

But I love nobody, alone in this world that’s how I came in it

But shit could flash and reverse the same in a minute

I don’t even love life no more, my niggas, I just live it

And I don’t love love, all the hurting is infinite

I cry myself to sleep sometimes, wept a gallon of tears

From malice, divorce meets to lost peers

Drowning in a haze of smoke and glasses that never ran empty

Bottles of Sojo, cheap vodka and twenty;

twenty

Spending my pennies for thoughts on quarts of henneything

Got none pain like the movie have plenty

Like a shotgun, double barrel fully loaded ready to blow

I wanna turn around and aim at myself

Been feeling my health

I hardly even eat no more

My lunch is munchies from the corner store: tropical fantasy

Me and my family, me and my niggas used to be tight

And now we see each other on the block with no pound

Keep it moving you gotta move on.

I know I’m doing it right

I’m still livin' hustling life, and still here

For all my niggas that smoke a pack a day

For all my niggas hold the bottle drink the pain away

What type of life is this?

For all my niggas that getn' the cash

And all my niggas that chill on the av

Lets keep livin'

For all my niggas drink the pain away

For all my niggas smoke a pack of Newports a day

What type of life is this?

For all my niggas that getn' the cash

And all my niggas that chill on the av

Lets keep livin'

Grew up as a, child of an alcoholic, sister to schizophrenic

Already inherited one and they both a genetic

When sun falls I gets no sleep

Nights are filled with party and bullshit

Bacardi and full clip

Just to deal with it

I got a full heart, but don’t feel with it no more

I got fury of a woman scorned

Just live my life like the x-files and trust nobody

Forgetting everyone, and now I’m just forgetting the money

Funny how shit can change and switch up fragile to whip on you

Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch shit up

I’m living day by day now

Every step is play by play hand to mouth

I’m just trying to make the moments count

Eyes weak stressing my soul

Chest roll from a heavy smoking addict since nine: a nicotine addict

Devoted at it but still, I need some kinda relief

I quit the trees at least

I’m learning niggas but I’m slow at it

Always give my motherfuckers the benefit of the doubt

But it seems that everybody is just out for self

I used to love her, but now I gotta make her work for my wealth

I gotta eat

From rappin' to nicotine

Niggas will clap and niggas will fiend

From some shit I never seen to everything I been through

It’s like, loosing the love of your life twice in the same night

Being deaf for years, gained your hearing and loosing your sight

Tryin to shine, but just getting eclipse

I’m just tryin to find the perfect words to fall from my lips

Thinking too hard about what shit has fallen, mainly the chips

Hoping by the next time installment that I’m not attempting to slit wrists

work my way up from the bottom to the

Top of the ladder, claim what’s rightfully mine

Working against time, it’s been too long

And I haven’t had a chance to leave y’all yet: I apologize

Getting older and wiser, seen the picture painted

My destiny faded for this, and not for easy times

I put my heart in these rhymes always

Love it or, leave it or ready to die?

Yeah I’m ready