Scrubstitute Teachers - Insane Clown Posse, Mike E. Clark, Twiztid

I let one fly in the class I’m teachin'

Shut the fuck up when the Duke is speakin'

I don’t give detention on the weekend

You give me shit, I’m handin' out beatin’s

I ain’t afraid to get hands on with that ass

Split your little fat-ass wig in class

Don’t push me, kid.

Take your fuckin' seat

And less proceed.

Who got the weed?

What do you normally do with Mr. Duncan?

(Science) Well he ain’t here, so fuck him

You bitch, how old are them titties?

Damn, too young.

Egg foo young

Now, you can shoot dice in the back, but

Any money exchange, I needs my cut

The rest of y’all, eyes to the front

I show you how to juggle while rolling a blunt

Listen up, class

(School us on real shit)

Now, listen up, class

(We want it, that real)

Listen up, class

(School us on real shit)

Now, listen up, class

(We want it, hey. We want it, hey)

It’s Willie.

What to do?

I’m your mother fuckin' substitute

I got a headache and just wrecked my truck

So shut yo' asses up

Let me school you on some real shit

J. Edgar Hoover used to suck dick

Elvis Presley put coke up his nose

And Martin Luther King had a couple o' hoes

The school board, I can’t call it

Half of 'em on drugs.

The rest are alcoholics

I don’t know why you study so hard

Ain’t no fuckin' jobs

I can What’s the problem, slick

Before I sleep in the park, I’ma rob a bitch

I got the guns and some bullets that are hooded, G

I wish a mother fucker would try to bully me

Listen up, class

(School us on real shit)

Now, listen up, class

(We want it, that real)

Listen up, class

(School us on real shit)

Now, listen up, class

(We want it, hey. We want it, hey)

I’ve written my name on the chalkboard:

«The Southwest Strangla, Underground Lord»

If you run your mouth or don’t do what you’re told

Straight the fuck up, I’ll knock you out cold

Leave you on the floor unconscious

To remind anybody else who want shit

Some of you hoes look good.

I said it

See me after class for extra credit

in my Thermos mug

Straight A’s for slackers and skippin' scrubs

Today’s assignment: How to cook meth

Cheerleader team comin' home with dick breath

History is all lies.

Fuck sports

In your letterman coat, you’re nothin' but dorks

Tell your mom it’s time for parent-teacher

I’ll bend her over the teacher, like «Uh!»

Listen up, class

(School us on real shit)

Now, listen up, class

(We want it, that real)

Listen up, class

(School us on real shit)

Now, listen up, class

(We want it, hey. We want it, hey)

What up, class?

I’m your scrubstitute

And I’m 'bout to teach you how to make that loot

There’s 28 grams in an ounce o' weed

And at a dime a piece, that’s 280

Just get your homie’s name, and it’s back on the streets

I’m on work release, so I’m headed back to jail

Got a way of corruptin' the misfits

So I’m spreadin' out to many different school districts

After the scrubstitute’s done takin' attendance

Tell 'em put they hands on they desk and empty they pockets

Lesson one: Anyone can get got

Screw ya, how to flip a no and cut a key.

Don’t get shot

Pay attention to the teacher, and you practice your homework

Tomorrow’s lesson is robbin' a bank and pimpin' a skirt