Past My Prime - Hovey Benjamin

Oh my God

I just realized something terrible

I’m past my athletic prime

I wasted my whole athletic prime

It’s gone like the sands of time (Gone)

All that’s left for me to do is die

Will I ever go pro?

No, sorry bro

Will I make it to the NBA?

No way, not today, or ever

Why did I waste my time?

Makin' these beats and these rhymes

I should’ve trained for the draft

Instead of makin' 'em laugh

Why am I trying to sing?

I should be chasin' a ring

I’m past my prime

All I got left is my, sexual prime

Let me just double-check that online

Wait, according to Cosmo Magazine

I sexually peaked at 18

I’m past my sexual prime

I could’ve been the Ron Jeremy of my time

I’m sad 'cause I never tried

Now I prolly have to turn to a life of crime

Will I star in a porno?

Of course no, it’s too late

Will I have a threesome with two milfs?

I don’t think I will, I lack the skills

I wish I tried my best

I should’ve focused on sex

Now I just smash for free

Instead of professionally

Watching a porn movie

Thinkin' that could’ve been me

I’m past my prime

All I got left is my, Optimus Prime

Let me just double-check that online

Oh my God, Transformers aren’t real

I don’t even know how to feel

I’m past my Optimus Prime

I will never bring a cool red truck to life

I wish I had a sentient ride

I always thought I’d fight with robots in the sky

Will I hang out with an autobot?

Probably not, they don’t exist

Will I ever meet Shia LaBeouf?

Well, actually, I don’t know, maybe

I’m past my prime

I wasted my life

But don’t you cry

'Cause when I die

I still have my, Amazon Prime

I’m just now entering my Amazon Prime as I leave my athletic prime