Changes Consume Me - Hotel Books

It’s a terrible statement but I never let it leave my side.

That sickening

realization that I’m done with this fight.

Moments kneeling on the bedroom

floor sickened by the entity I had absorbed, no more.

I would not let the

self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a precipice a monologue questioning my every

motive.

My disaster stricken heart feeling broken, my emotions quoted spilling

out of a broken vase taking the place of what was once your emotion.

Diluted with tears, an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I’m

vocally shook;

and I’m tired of telling myself that it’s gonna change.

Taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end.

Faulse-hoods predicted my

sinners dictated my every decision.

An exit of sorts seemed logical, cause I thought I could silence this breath.

But contrary to my mindset, I circumvented my threats to silence the demons

singing songs in my head;

whispering in my ear, that ending it all is a safe

bet.

Comforting me as I try to manipulate my end.

Those moments when I decided I

couldn’t handle this anymore!

Pins and needles infected every sensation I had

left!

Feeling like this love I had once found had been torn open and left broken in

the cold -that the seams holding it together ripped open and my flesh tore open

with that is I pray that my breathing would stop.

And as I held those staining memories, I held on so tightly;

remembering what

life used to mean.

Selfishly ready to embrace the fact that I am weak!

But then I called to you, and I hoped someone would find me;

and I found you,

and I had hoped someone would call me!

Cause I’m listening to these echoes of

my own voice leaving damage in the cold, as I feel I have finally grown to the

point where I can snap.

A point of knowing I could never go back…

And it’s in the moments I felt most alone.

That I told myself no one was there

for me;

and little did I know, love with sitting right beside me,

I just wasn’t listening.

At this point in my life I don’t know many things,

but I can promise you this — You are loved completely.