Christmas In Hollywood - Hollywood Undead

It’s Christmas in Hollywood,

Santa’s back up in the hood,

So meet me under the mistletoe,

Let’s fuck!

It’s Hanukkah in Inglewood,

The dradles spinning in the hood,

So meet me by the menorah,

Let’s get drunk!

Ho-ho-ho, merry Christmas!

Just a little story

About last Christmas,

About some bad kids

Who were full of wishes,

We gave some gifts

And we gave some lovin',

The weird kind of love

That you give to your cousin…

Little Timmy stole from 7−11,

So we stopped by his house

With a pair of sevens,

We drank in his room

With some dude named Kevin,

But there was still some bad kids

Who deserved some presents…

Zack got caught with a bottle of Jack,

So we slipped down his chimney

With an 18 pack,

He didn’t leave cookies

But we needed a snack,

So we took the beer back

And I fucked him in the ass!

It’s Charlie Scene,

Got eggnog in my flask,

The holidays are back

And all my presents are wrapped…

-Like, oh my God, is that Saint Nick?

-Kids, give me your list

Like it’s the 25th!

Been accused of being a bad kid,

But I get presents as it is,

Mrs. Clause just Myspace’d me,

I blew off a date on Christmas eve!

So I don’t give a fuck

If you’re naughty or nice,

You might still get a rolly

And a gang of ice,

So write your list

And never have no fear,

Have a Hollywood Christmas

And an Undead New Year!

-Fuck you!

-Now watch the language, ho-ho-ho!

I’m about to serve it up For for all you boys and girls,

Good kids, bad and even Da Kurlzz…

We were chilling at home

And decking the halls,

So I checked my phone

And Santa had called!

He said he’d swing by At a quarter to twelve,

He said that his jolly ass

Needed some help,

He said Christmas ain’t a gang

But a way of life,

'If you guide my sleigh,

I’ll let you fuck my wife'

So we jumped in his sleigh

And it started to jingle,

Funnier than fuck,

You can ask Chris Kringle,

So we all took flight

But something was fishy,

He asked for road ahead

And started to… kiss me!

Underneath his suit

Was just a bunch of pillows,

Instead of bags of presents

He had bags of dildos,

I pulled down his beard

And it was a monster,

It wasn’t Saint Nick,

It was a fucking imposter!

When we found out,

He started to pout,

I took my bandanna

And I choked him out,

I pulled off his beard

And I fucked his mouth,

Hijacked his sleigh

And headed down south!

I had a lot of wild nights

But tonight was the craziest,

Met a lot of Jeffs

But this one was shadiest.

When it comes to cheer,

That motherfucker’s a Grinch,

So if you don’t like Christmas,

Fuck you, bitch!

You kids are in big trouble,

Oh boy, ho-ho!

Woah ohhh, looks like Santa had

A little to much masdfsgand eggnog…