Notes App Apology - Heart Attack Man

It’s come to my attention allegations have been brought against me

I know it’s taken me a long time to respond, but here’s my story:

From my perspective, I’m exempt from consequences

I thought I’d get away with it but didn’t, so here’s my apology:

I’m so sorry, here’s a Notes app apology

It’s come to my attention allegations have been brought against me

I swear to god this is not my fault, it’s a big misunderstanding

No one’s ever told me I’m abusive and controlling

You sound crazy, no one will believe you, but here’s my non-apology:

I’m so sorry you have problems with honesty

It’s come to my attention that everyone fucking hates me

I know it’s only been a week since you outed me, but I’ve been changing

I’ve found God now everyone thinks that it’s a cop out

Cleansed me of all my misdeeds, redeemed and saved me

I found Jesus, absolved me of my demons

I’ll pray you heal from how I damaged you irreparably

It’s come to my attention allegations have been brought against me

I’m so sorry, say it half-heartedly

I’m so sorry, throw me a pity party

I’m so sorry, from leper’s colony

I’m so sorry, here’s a Notes app apology