Get Kramer -

We’ve got Kramer coming over

To produce us

So that we can show off to our specialist friends

Go down to the Falcon in Camden and say

«I'll have a pint for myself and a pint for the ex-MC5″

Aleister Crowley knew my father, or rather

Business once took Dad up into the glens

Where in a small hotel bar Crowley asked

«Have you got change for the fruit machine chief, I’m all out?»

Dear Mr McGee

Please find enclosed the latest demo from Liquid Greek.

Derided by the

mainstream as 'shoe-gazing also-rans', the band have nevertheless persevered

with their off-kilter-or-nothing policy in the hope that someone like your good

self will eventually realise, and thus promote, this violent yet ultimately

beautiful genre which we have dubbed 'new noise'.

The first track is based upon

the high-pitched lamentations of an unbalanced Lincoln woman, who nurses

injured buzzards back to health inside her dead child’s wardrobe.

We hope you like it

Yours sincerely

Liquid Greek

PS — We don’t like sport of any kind, and friends at school were very much thin

on the ground

This land is my land

This land is not your land

So please get off now or I’ll go and fetch the farm hand

And he will come running in a red cap-sleeve T-shirt

And a West Country smile that says «I'll give you Kick Out The Jams»