Walkin' In The Sun - Glen Campbell

NICK

What the hell are musicals?

NOSTRADAMUS

It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops, and the plot is conveyed

through song!

NICK

Through song?

NOSTRADAMUS

Yes!

NICK

Wait wait — so an actor is saying his lines and then, out of nowhere,

he just starts… singing?

NOSTRADAMUS

Yes!

NICK

Well that is the…

(sung)

Stupidest thing that I have ever heard

You’re doing a play, got something to say

So you sing it?

It’s absurd!

Who on earth is going to sit there

While an actor breaks into song?

What possible thought could the audience think

Other than, «this is horribly wrong?»

NOSTRADAMUS

Remarkably, they won’t think that.

NICK

Seriously?

Why not?

NOSTRADAMUS

Because…

(sung)

It’s

Musical

A musical

And nothing’s as amazing as

A musical

With song and dance, and sweet romance

And happy endings happening by happenstance

Bright lights, stage fights

And a dazzling You wanna be great?

Then you gotta create

A musical

NICK

I don’t know, I find it hard to believe people would actually pay to see

something like this

NOSTRADAMUS

Let’s just say it’s a Saturday night, and you want to go out on the town

Got a lady to flatter who might «give it up"if you don’t let her down

You could go see a tragedy, but that wouldn’t be very fun

Or a play from Greek mythology — see a Mother have sex with her son!

NICK

Eeuwwrrgh!

NOSTRADAMUS

You could go see a drama, with all of that trauma and pain

Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain

Go

See

Musical

A musical

A poppy piece releasing all

Your blue-sicals

Where crooners croon (Ahhhh) a catchy tune

And limber little ladies thrill ya 'til ya swoon

Oohs, aahs, big applause

And a standing ovation

NOSTRADAMUS & The future is bright if you could just write

A musical

NOSTRADAMUS

Some make you happy

Some make you sad

Some are quite big

Some quite small

Some are too long

Some are just plays with song (Ahhh)

Some musicals have

No talking at all

NICK

No talking at all?

NOSTRADAMUS (sung)

That’s right, there’s no talking

All of the dialogue is sung

In a very dramatic fashion

NICK

Umm, really?

NOSTRADAMUS (sung)

Yes, really

NICK

There’s no talk-

NOSTRADAMUS (sung, interrupting NICK)

There’s no talking

And they often stay on one note for a very long time

So that when they change to a different note

You notice

And it’s supposed to create a dramatic effect

But mostly you just sit there asking yourself,

«Why aren’t they talking?»

NICK

Sounds miserable

NOSTRADAMUS (sung)

I believe it’s pronounced

'Misérables'

NICK

And people actually like this?

NOSTRADAMUS

No — they LOVE it!

And what’s not to love!

(sung)

It’s such a delight

There’s nothing quite like

A musical

(spoken)

Oo!

Another vision!

I haven’t even told you the best part yet!

(sung)

Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet

NICK

Uh, what is that?

NOSTRADAMUS

Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat

NICK

Woah — are you okay?

NOSTRADAMUS

You slap your lap

Then finger-snap

That’s when you know

It’s time to TAP!

Ooohhhhh!

NICK

What the hell are you doing now?

NOSTRADAMUS

It’s called a dance break!

Apparently this happens in musicals as well!

People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance!

NICK

Why?

Does it advance the plot?

NOSTRADAMUS

No!

NICK

Advance character?

NOSTRADAMUS

Not necessarily

NICK

Then why do it?

NOSTRADAMUS

Because — it’s entertaining!

Five!

Six!

Seven!

Eight!

(dance break)

NOSTRADAMUS

Another vision!

It’s a musical

Whaddaya-talk whaddaya-talk

It’s a musical

A Seussical?

No a musical

With girls on stage

A musical

NOSTRADAMUS

We’ve got sappy repartee

And the women are risqué

And the boys are kind-of gay

A musical

NOSTRADAMUS

A true blue new

NOSTRADAMUS & Musical

NOSTRADAMUS

Stand back!

It’s a musical

Some musicals are very serious

A big glittering

NOSTRADAMUS & Musical

A musical

(in the style of Annie)

It’s a musical for us

NOSTRADAMUS

A big and shiny

Mighty fine-y

Glitter, glitz and line-y

Bob your head and shake your hiney

Musical

It’s a musical (it's a musical)

It is a musical (it's a musical)

NICK

YES!

I get it now!

(sung)

We’ll do a musical

NOSTRADAMUS

No kidding!

NICK

A musical

What could be more amazing than

A musical

With song and dance, and sweet romance

And with a musical we might have half a chance

BOTH

Oohs, aahs, big applause

With everyone cheering for us

NOSTRADAMUS

And for some unexplainable reason

The crowd goes wild every time

When dancers kick in unison

In one big won-der-ful line

ALL

And then you got yourself

A musical

A musical

A la-la-la-la-la-la-la-paloozical

With splashy style

And a big, fake smile

A snazzy handsome, jazzy hands

I swear that I’ll

Cross my heart, hope to die

If it isn’t a doozy

NOSTRADAMUS

Take it from me

They’ll be flocking to see

BOTH

Your star-lit, won’t quit, big hit

Musical

ALL

A big hit musical!