Cigars - George Carlin

Now listen… I got a few more items of things that are pissing me off, and this one comes in the form of a question.

Haven’t we had about enough of this cigar-smoking shit in this country?

Huh?

Huh?

When is this gonna end?

When is this shit gonna go away?

When are these fat, arrogant, overpaid, overfed, overprivileged, overindulged, white-collared, business-criminal, asshole cocksuckers gonna put out their cigars and move along to their next abomination… white pussy businessmen sucking on a big brown dick?

That’s all it is.

That’s all it ever was… a big brown dick!

Sigmund Freud said “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

Oh yeah?

Well sometimes it’s a big brown dick… with a fat, arrogant, white-collared, business-criminal asshole sucking on the wet end of it!

But hey, hey, the news is not all bad for me, not all bad;

you wanna know the good part?

Cancer of the mouth.

Good!

Fuck ‘em!

Makes me happy;

it’s an attractive disease… goes nice with a cell phone!

So light up suspender man, and suck that smoke deep down into your empty suit and blow it out your ass you fucking cocksucker!