Angels - George Carlin

Here’s another question I’ve been pondering… what is all this shit about angels?

Have you heard this?

Yeah… 3 out of 4 people now believe in angels.

What are you fucking stupid?

Has everybody lost their fucking mind in this country?

Angels… shit!

You know what I think it is?

I think it’s a massive, collective, psychotic, chemical flashback of all the drugs, ALL the drugs smoked, swallowed, snorted, shot, and absorbed rectally by all Americans from 1960 to 1990;

30 years of adulterated street drugs will get you some fucking angels my friend!

Angels… shit!

What about goblins huh?

Doesn’t anybody believe in goblins?

Never hear about them except on Halloween and it’s always negative shit too you know?

And zombies… where the fuck are all the zombies?

That’s the trouble with zombies;

they’re unreliable.

I say if you’re gonna buy the angel shit you might as well go for the zombie package as well.