Chokehold - Extortionist

Longing for an idle mind

Can’t seem to leave my past behind

When I’m awake I feel a constant degradation

Countless Marlboro meditations

Tell yourself that the world you love hates you

Even the ones that care for you the most

Feels like 1,000 eyes are staring at my soul

Tell myself one day I’ll choke on the smoke and find peace

No peace to find.

Get up, get up

Watch every step, dissect every word that is said

Replay and rewind these fucked up memories in bed

Please bare with me I’m still learning

Stupidity spews from the mouth of the burden

I didn’t do anything right

Lay waste to my youth and what is sacred to mine

Anxieties built a home in my mind

And the walls are beat to shit

Just because I’m fine doesn’t mean that I’m alright

But I don’t think you get it

Tell yourself that the world you love hates you

Even the ones that care for you the most

Feels like 1,000 eyes are staring at my soul

Tell myself one day I’ll choke on the smoke and find peace

Just because I’m fine, doesn’t mean that I’m alright

No peace to find

It’s built a home in my mind

Pictures of my trauma hangs from the walls

Always reminded of why I’m crawling out of my skin

No I can’t stand the sight of myself