Don't Ask... - Eric Schwartz

Maybe some day Ill decide to stop thinking

Get a job and achieve the approval of my neighbors

Buy myself a beemer and a condo out in Vail

Send my boys off to college if I can keep them out of jail

Maybe then Ill winter down Florida

Make myself a melanoma yarmulke, take lots of short walks

Eat prunes fear salt wear plaid drive slow

And take herbal tea with my early bird special

Pray that my memory lasts as long as me

And sit around the sauna counting varicose vessels

Dont ask me what Im doing

Dont ask me why Im doing it

Ill do what I wanna do (x4)

Maybe some day I should learn about god,

Buy the book rent the flick hell anything tell me why

The first thing they did was put an izmeil* to my dick

Snippy snip mazel tov hey really makes me want to pray

Build me an ashram up in Waltham,

Decorate a warehouse and meditate on toe-jam

Dow Zen Krishna Buddha anything at all to help me

Ease the woulda coulda shoulda blues

Pardon my expression but its kinda hard not to laugh

At anybody wearing those shoes

Maybe someday I could find myself a girl

With a really long fuse and a forgiving sense of humor

She wouldnt have to clean unless

She couldnt stand the normal mess

That piles up around me inexplicably

Find ourselves a preacher rent ourselves a hall

Tie the knot go home put the pre-nup on the wall

Get down to the task of putting up with each other

Til the war becomes worse than the prospect of divorce

If this interests anyone, see me when the shows done

With this caveat… I tend to sweat a lot