Slow Motion Man - Electric Six

I saw your picture in the pointless magazine

You wear your weapons well

You’ve got a future as a killing machine

As far as I can tell

I’m sure your driver does the best he can

He does whatever it takes

But I, I put my money on Slow Motion Man

Because he never puts on the brakes

And it’s all part of the plan

When you hire Slow Motion Man

Can he devise your lesson plan?

Why yes, he can!

And it takes such a long time

To arrive home when he drives

And he drives so slow, you slowly go mad

And if you’re looking for the noughties' mistletoe

I know just what it takes

Sign this disclaimer just before you go

Because I make mistakes

I cannot save you from drowning in jealousy

If you refuse to believe

What’s in your heart is a fallacy

What’s in your mind can never leave

And it’s the products from Japan

That are confounding Slow Motion Man

And he strives to make your wishes his command

But it takes 6−8 weeks

To get closure when he speaks

And he speaks in a voice that drives you mad

And I can see from my perch on the highest tree

You hid the feelings you felt

And you forsook me for a dollar tree

Before I could even take off my belt

And now the weather has turned a few degrees

And we must part for the year

Please don’t expect me to remember memories

I leave them all right here

And it’s the meals from a can

Giving life to Slow Motion Man

As he sends directions to an endless caravan

And he dies such a long death

They will enshrine his final breath

And he breathes so heavy, it makes you bleed