That Is Why You're Overweight - Eddie Harris

I had three doughnuts and two cups of coffee

But that didn’t stop my appetite

I had only eaten a box of cookies

Very late last night

I had ten pancakes, plenty of syrup and butter, and two slices of ham;

Three eggs, home fries, and four biscuits, all smothered in jam;

Two glasses of milk, and a cheesecake;

I thought I didn’t want any more

I just had to buy twelve of those mints in that bowl by the door

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

Heh … I wish I had some brains and grits!

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

I certainly would like a taste of some of that coffee cake over there!

It do look good

Lord have mercy!

Now it’s lunchtime, and I believe I’ll eat again

I’m not gonna eat as much as I did for breakfast, because I want to get thin

Let me have a bowl of chile con carne, and two corned beefs on rye;

A large order of french fries, a malt, and a slice of banana cream pie;

Two candy bars, one soda, for my late-afternoon snack;

And-a two bags of potato chips, so I won’t have to come back

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

I should have gotten two cheeseburgers with everything on 'em!

Lord have mercy

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

I’m gonna go back to eating a bag of peanuts for my snacks

Lord, Lord, Lord have mercy

While waiting for my dinner

I had four shots of alcohol

A chef’s salad with lots of dressing and crackers, but not much meat at all

Had a steak, candied yams, rice, lemonade, macaroni and cheese

Corn bread, banana pudding, and a side order of black-eyed peas

I stopped at the grocery store, I’m gonna load up my refrigerator

I’m gonna sit down and watch television, and I’ll have something to eat later

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

I’ll sure be glad when that pizza is ready!

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

I can’t seem to find nothing else in this refrigerator to suit me

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

Don’t know what you’re talking about;

I’m going to the smorgasbord,

tomorrow and the next day and the day after

That is why, that is why … that is why you’re overweight

You better signifying with me, talkin' 'bout I’m overweight, 'cause I eat what

I want to eat!

Tastes good to me.

Lord have mercy it’s good;

all that food is

good!

I wish I had some more to eat.

You’re always talking about overweight,

shoot, everybody talkin' bout it … whoever said skinny people’s healthy

anyway?

… Gotta eat to live;

anything you eat, you gonna get fat …