The Wisdom Song - Demetri Martin

When starting an adventure,

be prepared for a long period of putting in

before you can begin taking anything out

(I will, I will, thanks for the advice)

Stamina can be your best trait,

because it can help you weather the storms

(It's like a raincoat made of fabric, emotional fabric)

In business, if you give a little bit more for a little bit less,

you are more likely to stay in business

(If you’re selling pizza give a bigger slice

for the same price that would be nice)

When you see a behavior in a person that you don’t like,

chances are you will be seeing it again;

keep your distance

(I will! All the douche bags please back off)

When it comes to dating and marriage,

the good news is you only need one

(Hope I get a hot one)

That’s what I tell all the kids that are fretting,

they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend I say

'I know it’s tough but you know you only need one so

(Break it down Lillian)

keep working at it.

It’s not like you have to get a new one every week'

(It's the numbers game; you only need one, maybe two)

Be careful who you step on going up the ladder,

because you’ll meet them on the way down

(I'll avoid the ladders of the corporate kind)

Every organization takes on the character of it’s leader

(Uh-oh, America)

You need to be a friend to have a friend

(Unless you’re really cool, that’s a loophole)

All good deeds are rewarded, but we may not like the timetable

(Want it now karma, now now)

I don’t believe that nice guys finish last

(They finish somewhere in the middle, maybe near the front,

definitely not the last place)

Slow and steady will get you there a lot faster

(Like a turtle or a fat guy on a moped, going place to place)

Your best quality is your worst quality

(Unless you’re a paedophile)

Finally, the golden rule says it all

(Golden people rule!)