Dear Santa - DAX

I hope you’re not ignoring my calls again this year, I mean

I’m sorry about what happen last year

But I’m just really really passionate about Christmas

And you were being a Grinch and you know it, okay?

So listen

Aye Santa, last year you did a good job

But this year we need to pick this shit up

Last year I said a Cadillac color matte black

But this year I think I really want a Bentley truck

I don’t want to hear excuses

Last year you played me for a fool

This year get yo fat ass up

I don’t mean to be a nuisance, Santa

But after last year I don’t give a fuck

I need two phones like I’m Kevin Gates

I’m tryna get boo’d up like I’m Ella Mai

Last year I got a Lele Pons follow back

But this year I’m tryna take Lele on a god damn date

I want two homes, wit two gnomes, in two states

Two thrones, Grey Poupon on two steaks

A crib wit a gate

And some fish in a pond wit a hot tub beside of a lake

I need tube socks

A feature from Tupac

A new season of Boondocks

Some more ice cuz I’m too hot

And this year throw in a flesh light and a juke box

I need closure

I need more exposure

A new diet, preferably kosher

Get me a virgin who’s never even kissed a man so I can show her

A billboard hit

Balmain fit

Iced out watch

Exclusive kicks

And someone whose only only job is to wipe my ass every time I shit, Santa

I know you see me

Don’t try to play me just like you Stevie

And have me wondering and looking so needy

I’m not that greedy

Just let me get a couple more things and 60 inch TV

A personal chef to help me cook

And someone to read when I open up a book

And let me get some booty

Like Captain Hook

Dear Dax, uh Santa here

It’s not looking good this year, son

Ms Clause is sick

Rudolph is in the hospital

The Popeye’s chicken sandwich ran out

I’m black

Uh let me connect you with a friend

Again Santa, two in years in a row

Now I know what you mean when you always say hoe

Ima huff puff come and blow down yo door

Treat you just like a grudge I ain’t letting you go

Ima show you the meaning of pole

Do do do and put yo head right in a scope

Put a Red dot pon ya head top

Have you looking like a real red nose

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a mouse

It was Dax and the Grinch

Because Santa’s a bitch

So we gon break this shit down

And we gon do it like this