Triplets - Danny Kaye

Three little unexpected children simultaneously

The doctor bought us in you can see

That we’ll be three forever and E, I, O

You wouldn’t know how agonizing being triplets can be

Each one is individually the victim of that clinical day E, I, O

Every summer we go away to Baden-Baden-Baden

Every winter we come back home to Walla-Walla-Walla

We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike

We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more

We hate each other very much

We hate our folks

We’re sick of jokes about how hard it is to tell us apart

If one of us gets the measles

Then another one gets the measles

Then all of gets the measles and mumps and croup

How I wish I had a gun, a little gun

It would be fun to shoot the other two and only be one

Mrs. Hildendorfer loves to talk to Mrs. Goldenbasser

Of the day she went to Sloane’s and had her silly Willy

Mrs. Hassencooper loves to talk to Mrs. Eldenspritzel

Of her major operation when she had her twins

But when mother comes along she silences the others

She accomplished something that is very rare in mothers

For example just to prove that she was more than ample

She admits Lane Bryant thought

That they were measuring a giant

Dr. Heimerdanner almost lost his bedside manner

On the day that he first slipped upon us three

We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike

We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more

We hate each other very much

We hate our folks

We’re sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart

We eat the same kind of vittles

We drink from the same kind of bottles

We sit in the same kind of high chair, high chair, high chair

Momma says that we’re a bore and what is more

She didn’t want to have us

And we didn’t want to have her, no more