Friendtopia - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Rachel Bloom, Vella Lovell

When my friends and I stick together

There’s nothing we can’t do

And when I say that, I specifically mean

We’re gonna stage a coup

With the power of our gossip giggles

We’ll storm the Pentagon!

Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas

On the White House lawn

We’re going to braid each other’s hair

Then cut each other’s braids

Connect the braids to build a rope

To hang all of Congress!

Squad goals!

Stay together forever!

Squad goals!

Take control of the banks!

Squad goals!

Don’t let a man come between us

If he does, shoot him in the head!

O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Friendtopia!

A dystopia around our friendship

Friendtopia!

Our manifesto is fun

Zig-a-zow!

Now that we have total control

Get ready for what’s in store

Our reign will be like

Sweet Valley High meets Nineteen Eighty-Four!

When one of us gets dumped

That becomes Memorial Day

All agriculture will be diverted

Into making us Rosé

There’s a really exclusive sushi place

That never let’s us in

So when we don’t get in, we say

Let’s just go home and drink rosé!

Roll call!

Rebecca!

The brainy one!

Head of censorship and mind control!

Heather!

The cool one!

I put drugs in the water supply!

Valencia!

The sexy one!

Czar of torture!

O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Friendtopia!

We nostalgically watch «Hocus Pocus»!

Friendtopia!

Aw, I love «Hocus Pocus»!

Friendtopia!

All citizens much watch «Hocus Pocus»!

Friendtopia!

Or they will be killed!

Zig-a-zow!