Not Myself Today - Cozi Zuehlsdorff, Heidi Blickenstaff, Kahyun Kim

I was ready to be grown-up

Just waiting for the day

And now I am freaking

Does mommy feel this way?

See, they think that I have answers

They look to me to guide

They see this old, old woman

But there’s a little girl inside

I’m not myself today

I’m in a funny way

I’m not the thing they think they see

This alpha mommy —

She’s not me

They want a woman I can’t be

And words that I can’t say

I’m not the woman

I thought I was

I’m not myself today

I had no idea a woman

Could feel so damn dismissed

They smile and call me «sweetheart»

Does Ellie feel like this?

See, if only they would listen

I could get the search on track

But when they hear me talking

They just think I’m talking back

I’m not myself tonight

And more than me is not right

Cause Fletcher’s lost

And so am I

It’s not that often bye the bye

I wish I were a six-foot guy

But I want to win this fight

I’m not the woman I need to be

I’m not myself tonight

If I had a kid

And the kid ran away

I’d hunt him down and kill him

My god!

What a thing to say!

If I had a kid

And the kid ran away

I would find him

I would hold him

And then I’d kill him, okay?

I’m sorry, I’m not myself today!

Hey, are you okay?

Are you okay?

I’m not okay

What a day!

Even with all of this

Mess up between us

I thought I would do better

I thought I know the way

I mean, even as you

I’m a mess of a person

Can’t get my crap together

I’m also a mess I’d say

I’m not myself today!

I’m not myself today!

I’m not myself today!

I’m not myself

I’m not myself today!

(All three singing together incoherently)

I never felt so young and small

It breaks my heart

To hear them call

When there’s nothing I can say

I’m not the woman I thought I was

I’m not the woman I wish I’d be

I’m not myself today

I’m not myself today

Fletcher!

Fletcher!

Fletcher!