My Little Secret - Citizen Soldier

I cannot close my eyes

I cannot fall asleep

Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down

Drowning in this memory

As I lay me down to sleep

I pray the memories won’t find me

Hit the bottle, hit the pills, trying anything

Just to forget what you did to me

Won’t tell my friends, won’t tell my shrink

Yeah, maybe I should say something

But I’m terrified you’ll put the blame on me

So I live with the ghost, keep it buried deep

Face-down as I drown in this memory

My past is taking over me

The more I fight it, it just won’t let go

I cannot close my eyes

I cannot fall asleep

Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down

Drowning in this memory

It has me paralyzed

It’s always haunting me

And no believes me 'cause no one can see it

Might kill me to keep it

It’s my little secret

I’ve seen so much I can’t unsee

I’ve learned to suffer silently

Fight a war every day that no one sees

It’s torture always remembering

I don’t want them to think I’m weak

So I bite my tongue until it bleeds

The weight of this is breaking me

To keep it under lock and key

I cannot close my eyes

I cannot fall asleep

Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down

Drowning in this memory

It has me paralyzed

It’s always haunting me

And no believes me 'cause no one can see it

Might kill me to keep it

It’s my little secret

Face down as I drown in this memory

My past is taking over me

The more I fight it, it just won’t let go

It just won’t let go

I cannot close my eyes

I cannot fall asleep

Suffocating in doubt, all night face-down

Drowning in this memory

It has me paralyzed

It’s always haunting me

And no believes me 'cause no one can see it

Might kill me to keep it

It’s my little

My little secret