Delirium Tremens - Christy Moore

I dreamt a dream the other night I couldn’t sleep a wink

The rats were tryin' to count the sheep and I was off the drink

There were footsteps in the parlour and voices on the stairs

I was climbin' up the walls and movin' round the chairs

I looked out from under the blanket up at the fireplace

The Pope and John F. Kennedy were starin' in me face.*

Suddenly it dawned at me I was getting the old D.T.s

When the Child o' Prague began to dance around the mantlepiece

Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag

To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg

As I sat lookin' up the Guinness ad I could never figure out

How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout

Well I swore upon the bible I’d never touch a drop

My heart was palpitatin' I was sure 'twas going to stop

Thinkin' I was dyin' I gave my soul to God to keep

A tenner to St. Anthony to help me get some sleep

I fell into an awful nightmare — got a dreadful shock

When I dreamt there was no Duty-free at the airport down in Knock

George Seawright was sayin' the rosary and Mother Teresa was taking the pill

Frank Patterson was gargled and he singin' Spancil Hill

I dreamt that Mr. Haughey had recaptured Crossmaglen

Then Garret got re-elected and gave it back again

Dick Spring and Roger Casement were on board the Marita-Ann

As she sailed into Fenit they were singin' Banna Strand

I dreamt Archbishop McNamara was on Spike Island for 3 nights

Havin' been arrested for supportin' Traveller’s rights

I dreamt that Ruairi Quinn was smokin' marijuana in the Dail

Barry Desmond handin' Frenchies out to scuts in Fianna Fail

I dreamt of Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny too

The things that we got up to, but I’m not tellin' you

I dreamt I was in a jacuzzi with that old whore at number 10

'twas then I knew I’d never ever, ever drink again