Your Mother's Got a Big Head - Chris Rock

Emperor, contemperor

So many girls they call me the Pimperor

Never date a girl with a weave!

(Why Chris?)

Because a girl with a weave’s got a trick up her sleeve

My wallet’s so fat, had to put it on a diet

A sucka said run it and I said don’t try it

He thought I was a punk just because I was quiet

Smacked him with a brick;

got a suite at, the Hyatt

My future’s so bright that I gotta wear shades

My pocket’s so fat that my dog’s got a maid

My manager’s name is Reuben Kincaid

The only white boy with a high top fade

Now I’m chillin hard (hard!) I used to be poor (poor!)

They used to tease me when I worked at the store

Now your hamster’s dead, your girl’s name is Fred

And to top it off, YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

Big head!

YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

Big head!

I said YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

Big head!

I said YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

Big head!

YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

Aight aight, first off, you wanna sign on me?

Bet bet, you big Marion-Berry-haircut-havin' muh-

Yo, first of all, your mother got a Nike tag on her wig

And they call her Hair Jordan

Ace of the staff, top pick of the draft

You’re so dumb, you failed first grade math

I’m quicker than Leonard, hit harder than Hearns

Your mother’s so old that she fucked George Burns, ha!

My rhymes are fixed and your rhymes are broken

I drive a Benz, you drive a deuce and a token

You have no friends, you have no will

But like a skinhead on Soul Train — YOU DON’T FIT IN, BOYYY!

When I was a kid, I used to be plump

But now I get more rump than Donald Trump

You’re so broke, you got a bird for a beeper

When it goes off, it goes «Cheap-cheap-cheapa»

Now I’m chillin hard (hard!) I used to be poor (poor!)

They used to tease me when I worked at the store

Now your dog is dead, you still wear Keds

And to top it off, YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

First of all, ya big Foghorn-Leghorn-belly-havin'

Yo yo, your mother got an afro so big

When she sat in my car it had instant tint windows

My jeans are ripped and yours are corroded

Your mother’s so big that her panties exploded

I don’t wanna say that your mother’s FAT!

But I saw her put BBQ sauce on her cat

Your breath’s so stink that you need Binaca

Your girl looks like Orville Redenbacher

I live to save life and my pockets get bigger

You’re a daredevil, they call you Evel Kni-NIGGA

You see my Rolex and you lose your smile

Cause all you can afford is a Flintstone sundial

My jeans are ripped and my drawers are silk

Your mother is so cheap she gave you cereal for breast milk

Now I’m chillin hard (hard!) I used to be poor (poor!)

They used to tease me when I worked at the store

Now your hamster’s dead, your cat’s got dreads

And to top it off, YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!

A rib about your mother!

Yo, peace to everybody, my homeboy Eddie Murphy

Yaknomsayin, Damon Wayans, Michael Jackson

Yo, you don’t know Michael Jackson!

Yo, yo' mother

Yo' MOTHER don’t know Michael Jackson!

Man you better stop eatin that pork, boy~!

YOUR MOTHER’S GOT A BIG HEAD!