Mourning - Casey

I birthed breath to grief I couldn’t understand

That knew only authenticity as my melancholy hands

Shook beneath the weight of something you had once entrusted me to hold

In growing old I only long to be consoled

Instead I have been left as just a vessel for my aches

A crooked spine that buckled once, but never thought to heal the break

Now nostalgia comes home once a week, drunk and delusional

Slurring her speech, she talks about «trying again»

Slumped heavy on the frame of the door to the room where I wait

I barely said a word at all, scared to tell you how I felt

Has my memory decayed?

I don’t remember falling into love

And it kills me every day

I hope I never fucking hear your name again

Carry me lifeless and afraid, back to our bed

Truth be told it never felt like we were laid together sleeping

Only that my broken body had been crushed between your sheets

Like dead flowers between the pages of a journal you never read anymore

You just flick through when you’re bored

The only time you ever call is to remind me of something we never were

Were we anything at all?

No heaven without hell beneath, in misery without you and me

Your memory won’t let me sleep, I never thought I’d be so weak

Lonely is as lonely was, no more than a memory

Can’t deny it anymore, our love is dead and buried

Senseless, I’ve been caring for the house that we called home

Hell was loving you at all my dear, because now I’m alone