The Lavender Cowboy - Burl Ives

He was only a lavender cowboy

The hairs on his chest were two,

But he wished to follow the heroes

And fight like the he-men do.

But he was inwardly troubled

By a dream that gave him no rest,

That he’d go, with heroes in action

With only two hairs on his chest.

First he tried many a hair tonic,

'Twar rubbed in on him each night,

But still when he looked in the mirror

Those two hairs were ever in sight.

But with a spirit undaunted

He wandered out to fight,

Just like an old-time knight errant

To win combat for the right.

He battled for Red Nellie’s honour

And cleaned out a holdup’s nest,

He died with his six guns a-smoking

With only two hairs on chest.