Me - Burke Moses, Susan Egan

You’ve been dreaming, just one dream

Nearly all your life

Hoping, scheming, just one theme:

Will you be a wife?

Will you be some he-man's property?

Good news!

That he-man's me!

This equation, girl plus man

Doesn’t help just you

On occasion, women can

Have their uses too

Mainly to extend the family tree

Pumpkin, extend with me!

We’ll be raising sons galore

Inconceivable!

Each built six foot four!

Unbelievable!

Each stuffed with ev’ry Gaston gene!

I’m not hearing this!

You’ll be keeping house with pride!

Just incredible!

Oh so gratified

So unweddable!

That you are a part of this idyllic scene

(spoken)

Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting over the fire,

my little wife massaging my feet, while the little

Ones play on the floor with the dogs.

We’ll have six or seven!

Dogs?

No, Belle!

Strapping boys… like me!

Imagine that!

I can see that we will share

All that love implies

We shall be a perfect pair

Rather like my thighs

You are face to face with destiny!

All roads lead to…

The best things in life are…

All’s well that ends with me!

Escape me?

There’s no way

Certain as «Do, Re,»

Belle, when you marry…

(spoken)

So Belle, what would it be?

Is it «yes», or is it «oh, yes»?

I… I just don’t deserve you!

Who does?

(sung)

Me!

But thanks for asking