The Crib Song - Brett Kissel

Alright

Let’s go, boys!

Just poured myself a strong one

Hey boys, get out the cards

Shuffle up, and deal 'em out, I just cut the ace of hearts

Be careful what you lead with

Don’t give away your hand

'Cause I’ll rope you right into a run and peg eight, or nine, or ten

Looking at your face, looks like you don’t like what you see

Oh-oh son, looky there, looks like you got nineteen

Fifteen to a pair for four, I gotta flush for eight

I pegged you back and you bet your ass, I’m hot out of the gate

I’m looking for that twenty-nine, just give that Kissel cut

Well, twenty-four will have to do, looks like you’re getting skunked

No, I can’t think of anything I love doing more than this

Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib

Hey Walshy, don’t forget

You still owe me a hundred bucks

I can’t help you missed a couple runs, and I just got the luck

Perhaps one day you’re gonna learn you’re playing 'gainst a shark

'Cause you know I’ll break your spirit

And you know I’ll break your heart

So pay me up my money

Unless you wanna double down

Let’s pour another whisky, son, I’ll take your ass to town

Well, fifteen, six and six is twelve and one more for the jack

You don’t wanna see my crib, you’re gonna have a heart attack

I’ll take fourteen in the kitty, looks like I’m gonna win

Yeah, I’d put away your wallet son, unless you wanna lose again

No, I can’t think of anything I love doing more than this

Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib

Alright

Uh-oh

Here comes Grandpa Bear

It’s time to watch the heart, boys

Yeah, Powers, he’s a player, but he ain’t won in awhile

And Uncle Digger, he can’t see, Deuce Neon’s got him piled

Walshy’s just like Reuben

He’ll lead with a five

And Ebs keeps getting Romney’s, he’ll stay up all night

But Marty, he’s a cheater, always taking extra points, and me

Well, I’m the king

'Cause all I get is loins

Well, fifteen, twelve, another twelve, well makes twenty-four

Are you sick of all this punishment

Or do you want some more?

Yeah, I just won a Gino

Looks like I cleaned ya out

No Walsh, don’t tell Mikayla

You’ll be sleeping on the couch

Now I can’t think of anything I love doing more than this

Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib

Now I can’t think of anything I love doing more than this

Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib

Alright

Alright

Yeah, of course I’ll take another drink

I’m not a cactus