Shoppin' Around for a Christmas Tree - Bob Rivers

At the grocery parking lot

Every thing over 4 foot 3

Is 'bout hundred bucks a pop

Schlepin' around for a Christmas tree

And I still haven’t found a thing

In a trailer I met some drunken' guy

And we did some haggling

People get that ornamental feelin' every year,

Mom’s and Dad’s and kids all happy

Till they get their hands all scratched and sappy

Shoppin' around for Christmas trees

What a crappy holiday

Today they smell so fresh and green

They’ll be dead on Christmas Day

You will get that ornamental feeling every year

When you find a tree that looks real jolly,

If you turn it round, it’s as brown as Charlie’s

Choppin' down my Christmas tree

In a true old-fashioned way

Toppin' it off with a Spotted Owl

And make hasty get away