Mustang Ranch - Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears

Hey we got a job on our way

From Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight

It’s a long drive man

Ain’t nothing to do

We were bored on the way

Me and Bill up in the front

I said ‘Man is that a UFO'?

He said ‘I think it is

I think there’s two'

I said ‘Man is that place Mustang Ranch on the way'?

He said ‘Yeah, let’s call 'em up'

Called the girl up on the phone

She ‘hello'

I said ‘How much would it be

For me to come over and get my, my, my,

My ham glazed'?

She said

wooooooooooooooo

How fast does love come for

You know its gonna have to come real cheap

We pulled up there

'round 7 o’clock in the mornin'

Big old fat dude come up

Comin' around the car with a gun on his hip

He said ‘Watcha all want'?

‘We just hop in the van to get our ham roasted'

He said ‘I need to see some id'

Showed him id and

He got up in the van

Dagwood sleeping back there like he always is

Dude put his flashlight in his face

Dagwood looks over and says ‘what's goin' on'?

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy

Gonna need some id boys

You don’t come in here

Messin' with my place

Went in there

And two good ol' bad girls come on

Sitting on both sides of me

They say ‘What's up baby'?

I said ‘Now what’s going with yo'?

‘Whatchu want?

I said ‘I want my ham to get glazed'

She said ‘Well come here in the back

And we’ll talk about it'

‘Say, you need a threesome'

I say ‘I only need take one

To get my ham glazed'

She say ‘How much money you got'

I say ‘I got about twenty dollars'

She says

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You gonna need more than that boy

I ain’t no bad free wild girl

Gonna rock that Ranch to pay

Gettin in the way you drink

Now Bill got to find wandering eye

She came out the back

Lookin' fine and he was jealous

She took him by the hand

And he went back to the jungle room

And his teeth were chattering

And he was sweating bullets

Cause he was so damn scared

And she sat him down on the couch

Put her hand on his leg

And said ‘Whatchu wanna do with me'?

He says ‘I want my ham to be glazed'

She says ‘How much money you got'?

He says ‘Twenty dollars'

And she says

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You gonna need more than that boy

If you gettin' gonna get with me

At the Mustang Ranch you pay

Gettin in the way you be