Virtue's Last Reward - Ben Schuller

Only started rapping cus somebody said I couldn’t

Kept on making music cus nobody said I shouldn’t

Never thought I’d make but nobody said I wouldn’t

When you’ve done it long enough you get out what you put in

I was never special but I had passion and put the work in

All I made was garbage I didn’t need to be perfect

It is kinda freeing to know that you don’t deserve it

Did this for myself so I didn’t need to be nervous

Did this for myself so I didn’t need to be hurting

Focused on the music and everything I was learning

I was having fun with it, never needed a purpose

Earnest, I was just happy they could’ve heard it

Burn it, I feel that feeling has been deserted

I’m sick of making music, sick of feeling like I’m worthless

Sick of staying up all night and stressing bout my words and now I’m sick of

All the pressure that’s rising up to the surface

I’ve been drowning in the silence of a bad dream

They all love it but don’t know a thing about me

Body running on a mix of stress and caffeine

Nothings changing, they are moving on without me

I paved my way to the top

So what

I don’t even know what it’s all for

I made mistakes that I’ve not forgot

My virtues paid

It’s my last reward

I don’t even listen to other music, that people make

I can’t help comparing and driving my fucking self insane

All my peers around me keep on pushing hard to innovate

I’m just so exhausted but I’m trying not to feel ashamed

Feel ashamed

Fuck

I should be happy but I cannot help but feel this way

Every night it feels the same

Every night I’m struggling to live up to the bar they raised

Every word I write I hate

I don’t even feel like I belong on stage

Shut down the voice in my head

I should just do this for me

I do not know what I want

I do not know what I need

People keep giving my love

And they want me to succeed

I have no drive anymore

I do not have any dreams

I paved my way to the top

So what

I don’t even know what it’s all for

I made mistakes that I’ve not forgot

My virtues paid

It’s my last reward

Where did the fun go

Where did the joy after making a song go

How did it get so aggressive and cutthroat

Heart is not in it

I’m stopping the blood flow

Stopping the clock

Stopping the journey I feel like I’m lost

Stopping to think of the things I’ve forgot

I cannot be who I am with this weight on my back

I will never be someone I’m not

I’ve been drowning in the silence of a bad dream

They all love it but don’t know a thing about me

Body running on a mix of stress and caffeine

Nothings changing, they are moving on without me

I paved my way to the top

So what

I don’t even know what it’s all for

I’ve made mistakes that I’ve not forgot

My virtues paid

It’s my last reward

Woaah

It’s my last reward

Woaah

It’s my last reward