Carousel - Ben Beal

The rainclouds never fade

Again, again, again

And I been looking for a maze to the end

Why do we even try?

I’m a glass half-empty kind of guy

Still don’t know how to do shit for myself

Guess only time will tell, where on this carousel

I’m in my own world

But it’s the apocalypse

I try to stay grounded

But it’s too hard in this rocket ship

We was all good, now it’s all back

They tell me «move on», but I fall back

What you call that?

This more seasonal depression

Retrogade, why can’t I use my own message?

I was lost, I never received directions

Why is my life so perplexing?

Why is my mind always racing and I’m always stressing

I just need a little more time

'Cause I don’t think we’re good together

We were never good together

I think we should be forever

I think this could be forever

Be forever

But you just wouldn’t get it

Taking pills to make me feel anything

Chillin' in the hospital, they not letting my parents in

This shit’s embarrassing

19 with no future yet

Felt like a shadow, now I’m feeling like a silhouette

Mac understood me while my peers all over-looked me

I owe him everthing like I used to owe my bookie

I remember taking Xans, woke up and owed a couple grand

I hope that if I ever die, my people will understand

It’s a long time coming

Writing songs about nothing

Went outside and lived my life

Then fucked it up, like «Jesus Christ»

Sold her soul for grams of blow

And took a trip to firefly

Hit up Ben like «Let's be friends»

And turning his mind to Mikey nikes

Little did she know we’d get rich and fuck our friends

Playing headgames only works if Young Beal is getting head

So it never really hit me

Dreaming of needles, no tellies or measles

I need rehab, I OD’d on fifth dab

My life is like a good dab for allergy pills

If the drugs don’t kill him, then the salary will

I’m BB with the name, but BP with the spill

We like oil with the water, we don’t mix when we drill

We could leave right now, I don’t think people will see us

I been sad as fuck, I spark a Jay, then repaint the meter

It’s just not in the cars, like

Take the weed out the sneakers and roll

The walls are thin, I hope the neighbors don’t hear us

But they’ll probably hear us

Yeah, they’ll probably hear us