Never Do Anything - Barenaked Ladies

Wiped out down the stairs

I’ll bet you there’s a song in there

I’m not sure I’m prepared to write it down

That guy should be me

I’d look much better on TV

Then the world would see

That I can do anything

I can be that

But soon you’ll see that

I will never do anything

Let’s play tic-tactoe

I’ll play X, you can be the O

Thoughts of turning pro

Have crossed my mind

I could make a mint

Fill my pockets with more than lint

I’ll give you a hint

It involves the «internet»

Don’t write me off as an also ran

Just mark me down as an angry man

Got a big chip, you want a fat lip?

How 'bout a mouthful of Chiclets?

Life passed me by, but it’s not my fault

I’ll lick my wounds, could you pass the salt?

I can be that, but soon you’ll see that

I will never do anything

If I were the king

All my subjects they would dance and sing

They could kiss my ring

And kiss my ass

When I’m old and grey

I’ll look back on my life and say

«Give me one more day

And I’ll still never do anything.»