Mr Buddy Buddy - B. Dolan

Say hell to Mister Buddy Buddy

The charlatan;

the confidence man

Half man half mannequin

Living in the closet where the objects are inanimate

Jingling his pockets, Talking money in his sleep

Talking funny like a president, Buddy is a creep

He studied to be a priest

Now he preaches to the lost toys

Speaking in a soft voice

Sneaky with the altar boys

Ask him what his name is

He’ll tell ya «Buddy Buddy, heh heh

No relation.»

The living go to die in the hole where his face is

At the beginning of time

He showed Satan how to shapeshift

Body image issues--

Never seen himself naked

Making money is a hobby but he wants to be famous

He goes antique shopping for Nazi pariphenalia

But Buddy’s not a racist

He just loves a good sales pitch

Whichever way the scales tip

You can’t knock the hustle

Of reaching in your chest

And squeezing that weak muscle…

Mister Buddy Buddy

Doin the Buddy Buddy

Say hello to Buddy Buddy

At the scene of the accident

Master of the fast-pitch bumper sticker magnet

Pump it to the masses

Who snatch it up like addicts

Unsnap the brass latches of alligator suitcase

And pedal pleasant fragments

With new and improved taste

Six million ways to flavor the Kool Aid

A ripple through his face when the room gets played

Never let a little thing like Truth get in the way…

The music he makes is loop-based

Blooms like a stain

Grows on ya like a rash or a tumor on the brain

Cyanide and toothpaste, the tools of his trade

Pass the laughing gas cuz Buddy is onstage!

A master of the craft

A study in blackface

A series of site gags in utterly bad taste

With a clearance price tag on everything he displays

He gets the fuck outta Dodge ahead of the hurricane…

Nothing remains but destruction in his wake

And bunch of no-buddies

Praying for more rain…

Mister Buddy Buddy

Doin the Buddy Buddy