fathers - awakebutstillinbed

I tried to be someone else to escape it all

It became an obsession, and I awoke in a world divorced from self;

A false reimagining of which I am the subject

Shrouded in abstract conceptual intangibles

I know that I’m broken, and I play the part

Why try to get better?

I was born to tear myself apart

This lifelong dissonance, how could it mean nothing?

I become a concept inside of myself

All the failures of our fathers can’t define us

If all that weight fell on our shoulders, who could blame us?

I felt locked in a stigma beyond my control

And in my vulnerability, I am fed their words and I swallow them whole

Promised a way out, and I sign a contract

A widespread mandate to suppress doubt

And push it all inside: my endlessly lost heart

And raging mind, just keep it all inside

But the shame and trauma, how could it mean nothing?

It lives inside of me, rebuilds and restarts

All the failures of our fathers can’t define us

If all that weight fell on our shoulders, who could blame us?

Our anxieties and fears can’t control us

If all their thoughts fall on deaf ears

I erase these memories, and I try

To reconstruct myself to fit into this life

You might want to be someone else

But what good would that do though?

You might want to be someone else

But what good would that do though?

But what good would that do though?

If all this weight falls on your shoulders?